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Posts tagged sleeplessness

Blink Blank Blunk

This whole week has been ones of those where at the end of my day my whole body just shuts down.  I sit down to blog, knowing I have lots of stories to share, and my eyes slowly close, I sink in my seat, and my brain starts to run, run….

The last several nights I’ve had a hard time getting to sleep despite being as tired as I am now.  At some point work tapers off and exhaustion sets in, but my brain never stops worrying about what I’m doing, or need to do, or should do, or might forget to do.  There are so many tiny pieces of input into my day I really need a better way to organize them.  I like to think I’ve got a good short term memory, but with as much reading and learning and the all-exhausting taing I’m doing, there just aren’t any neurons left to fill that purpose.  Things just fall right our of my head, like a sieve.  It reminds me of laundry day, where at the end of the day you’ve folded so many socks you can’t carry them all at once, but you try to anyway.  No matter how big of a handfull or armload you think you can carry, you inevitably drop a bunch of socks on the way to the drawer.  Those socks are my thoughts.  And they keep spilling on the floor.

Wednesday has to be my worst day.  I know Fridays I teach more, but they have this added bonus, a character of flippancy almost, because they’re Fridays.  I know that all I have to do is make it through that two hours of teaching, and I’m really off free for almost three whole days.  Nevermind that I do more work in those three days than the remaining four, but there are no social obligations which takes the pressure off quite a bit.  Except, of course, this weekend.  But sociolinguistics just wouldn’t be what it is if I didn’t have to do something as partially terrifying as asking pointed questions about strangers’ lives.  And this is the one and only time I have to do this.  In the forseeable future.  Ish.

I don’t really feel like talking about class today.  I did a lot today.  I’m now two-thirds done grading essays.  I remembered (whoo!  remembering anything!) to print out a bunch of papers I need for my 260 project.  I even read half of one.  I got my section done, and it went pretty well, despite my total lack of semantics knowledge.  I did a million tiny tasks this morning… tried to set up an email list, sent some emails I needed to do, and this evening I got my schedule for next week up. My schedule for next week looks, if at all possible, scarier than this weeks.  But I think after this, it levels out.  I present in 260 on Tuesday, and that’s the only thing I need to do (officially..) besides the final project in any of my classes.  Phew.

But really the only major happening of my day was that my tire was again (arg!) flat when I got out of section.  And I put new tires (actual tires, not tubes) on my bike just two days ago!  Anyway, it did make it obvious that my 5-times-patched tube was inadequate, and I was meaning to get new tubes anyway.  So I took it to the bike shop (by which I mean Davis has about nine..) and they had just enough time to change my tube before they closed.  Yay.  My bike always rides so well with properly inflated tires, and it turns out I was way under inflating the new tires.  My old ones were 65 psi, but the new ones go up to 100, which is way firmer than I’m used to.  Rode home like a dream.

Came home to my wonderful Lewis, who hugged my stressful day away.  And then made me delicious dinner.  The ol’ quinoa stuffed baked squash bit of heaven.  So tasty.  And I am so ready for bed.  Here’s to tomorrow, an easier day than today.

Gustav Sympathies?

Stalwart Elmside

Stalwart Elmside

Didn’t sleep well last night, the wind here was really howling. We have a very nice house for wind storms. Wind (and storms, together and separate) always keep me up at night. In LA it was never an issue for whatever reason. Cambridge had quite a lot of blustery nights, and being in an old creaky house surrounded by huge old trees (see illustration at right… trees not pictured).  I used to stay up all night listening to our house groan and those trees swaying and creaking.  The one solice I had there was that those trees were so old and our house had obviously been there long enough that it felt like nothing could really go that wrong or it would have done so long before we got there.

In El Cerrito we also had a fair amount of windy nights, and we were also in a bit of an old house.  The windows never sealed particularly well, so when the wind would come in off the Bay it would slip right through our West-facing window and rattle our blinds.  That was a surefire way to keep me up, but the plus side of both places was that we never really had any thunderstorms, and at worst we had wind blowing rain onto our windowpanes.  The new house seems to bypass all these problems.  New construction, well sealing windows, few tall trees.  So the wind blew pretty hard here tonight, and the worst we seem to get is that Davis has a lot of trees, generally speaking.  It’s loud, but not creaky.  And I’m not concerned anything is going to crash through the roof.  Though even then, we have quite an extensive attic, which makes me feel like we’ve got some cushion.  We do have one rather large palm tree on the side of our living room, but the landlords are having that chopped down fairly soon, so I don’t even really have that to bother about.

Anyway,  bad sleep always screws my day up, so I spent all day trying to catch up to myself it felt.  Did get a few things done;  we went to the Co-op and got the last of our supplies, and we also hit up the bookstore next door for some train reading.  The wind blew pretty steady all day as well – I couldn’t even top 9 mph on my bike going downhill off the overpass because we had such a serious headwind.  It was only 85 or so today though, which was a really nice break from the steady over-90 we’ve had since we moved here.  I don’t expect anything different from Davis, but a breath of relatively cool air is always welcome.  Oh, and I got laundry done!  It’s pretty fantastic to be able to do laundry while doing other stuff as well so it feels like I’m not wasting my day, even though it takes me at least twice as long as going to the laundromat.

Tomorrow all we’ve got to do is pack and get this place ready for Ben, who is really nicely going to house-sit for us.  May mow the lawn as well.  At any rate, I don’t expect the train until midnight-ish, so we’ve got plenty of time to get ourselves sorted tomorrow.  I really am looking forward to the trip, though I feel like I’m only seeing dollar signs at the moment.  Anyway, the trip is going to be great and I’ll remember all the excellent times I’m sure to have, and not so much how much my hotel and rental car cost.   I hope I can keep up on the blog while we’re out.  I’m bringing the lappy, but who knows about the posting possibilities.


Not What She Used to Be

It’s 2 am and while I can’t say that I’m “wide” awake, it should be obvious at any rate that I am awake. And for no good reason.

Lights were out at 12:30, and tiny, insignificant noises were happening outside. Mostly involving the fact, I can only assume, that our party-havin’ neighbors were having a party. Not even a loud one. But here I am, 90 minutes later, still on the internets, still awake, and still listening. It’s been pretty quiet out there for the last little while, and I’m starting to feel myself winding back towards sleepiness. I must congratulate myself at least a little for being determined enough to get out of bed and read blogs rather than stay in bed and worry about noises. The world always seems a lot less scary when there are blogs involved (also included in world-is-less-scary category: music, tv, radio, news, Lewis, kitty – external validators of normalcy).

I don’t even know what it is I’m up about tonight. Sometimes as my day is getting on, especially as I’m in the zone of last-things-before-bed, little disruptions can really put me off sleeping. I usually ignore them and try and sleep anyway. But it can be something as simple as Boo being loud or seeming especially nervous, or a loud noise hours ago, or something haven fallen over or spilled, or whatever… For me tonight it started with the neighbors having a stranger party than usual – they put up bright lights, and had a big fire (on their deck? in a barbeque, i suppose..) and were playing ping-pong. Totally innocent, but it felt like that meant tonight was going to be troublesome. Like they could put lights up and play ping pong in some sort of challenge to the rest of the neighborhood. Like the whole neighborhood would be feeling irreverent and hazardous.

It probably doesn’t help that I slept so long last night so I’m probably more well-rested than I ought to be. Or that we were packing and junk all day. I’m definitely feeling unsettled having our rooms in disarray as such. Boxes everywhere. And real moving on the horizon. I imagine that’s the truth of the sleeplessness tonight — I’m nervous about moving, and I’m really wishing we were moving ASAP (as in, tomorrow). But I’ve got to be calm and patient as possible. Being pent up doesn’t seem to be getting me any further than being awake. And that’s a stupid thing to be at 2 am when Lewis and Boo are sleeping so soundly so near me.